How Doing It All Is Undoing You, w/ Alyssa Joy Bethke
Letting go, soul care, and confronting pressures to "do it all."

by | Aug 26, 2024

Available Now

🎙️ Brace yourselves for the most eye-opening episode yet on “Am I Doing This Right?” — EP26: How Doing It All Is Undoing You, w/ Alyssa Joy Bethke. Special guest Alyssa Joy Bethke dives deep into the unsettling truths behind the facade of control, unraveling her personal battle with letting go of others’ expectations and dealing with the overwhelming pressure to do it all. With vivid anecdotes, from friendship conflicts to a stressful remodeling project in Maui, Alyssa and hosts Morgan May Treuil and Leslie Johnston explore transformational lessons on prioritizing self-care and obedience to God over people-pleasing. This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling crushed by the weight of endless responsibilities or yearning for genuine heart connection and rest. Don’t miss this soul-rejuvenating conversation that could be the turning point in your journey toward true peace and connection with God! You can grab Alyssa’s book, When Doing All is Undoing You, HERE.

The Freedom in Letting Go: How Releasing Control Revives Your Soul

We live in a culture that glorifies the hustle, praises productivity, and often leaves us feeling like we need to “do it all” and “be it all.” But what if the very act of trying to manage everything is what’s undoing us? Embracing the freedom that comes with letting go can revive your soul and align your heart with God’s peace. Let’s explore the profound spiritual takeaways on how surrendering control can heal and transform our lives.

Understanding the Illusion of Control

At the heart of our struggles with overcommitment and anxiety lies a deep-seated desire for control. We focus intensely on controlling our children’s behavior, our spouses’ stress levels, and even the opinions of others about us. Yet, this pursuit of control is an illusion. Realizing and accepting the limits of what we can control liberates us from the constant pressure to manage the outcomes of every aspect of our lives. This awareness isn’t just freeing; it is a spiritual necessity that allows us to redirect our focus towards God’s sovereignty and guidance.

Admitting Our Fears and Anxieties

One transformative approach is openly admitting our fears and anxieties to God. It’s a practice rooted in humility and trust, asking ourselves one pivotal question: “What is mine to do?” By discerning what truly belongs to our responsibilities, we can let go of the rest—a gesture of trust that God is capable of handling what we cannot. This act of relinquishment is not synonymous with apathy; it is an active, faith-filled release that prioritizes divine order over our limited human control.

Releasing People-Pleasing Tendencies

The drive to please everyone—friends, family, and even acquaintances—can be exhausting and, ultimately, unfulfilling. Releasing this burden involves understanding that while we can contribute to others’ happiness, we are not responsible for their emotional well-being. This distinction is crucial for those who struggle with people-pleasing. Faced with friendship conflicts or misunderstood intentions, it’s essential to turn to the example set by Jesus, who remained obedient to God even when it led to being misunderstood and betrayed. Obedience to God over the approval of others brings a profound sense of peace and purpose.

Tending to Our Hearts

In seasons of feeling overwhelmed, it’s vital to tend to our hearts intentionally. Slowing down, being curious about our internal state, and giving ourselves the space to cultivate a deeper connection with God allows us to rediscover our identity as His children. Simple practices like taking reflective walks, journaling, or spending quiet moments in prayer are not just beneficial—they are necessary for spiritual health. These moments of stillness and reflection invite God into our daily rhythm, helping us anchor our worth and identity in His love rather than in our accomplishments.

Embracing Rest

Finding rest in busy seasons can feel paradoxical, but it is essential. God’s invitation to rest is an ongoing call to relinquish our frantic activities and lean into His peace. Sabbath keeping, creative longing for moments with God, and finding ways to rest that resonate with our current season are tools that ground us in His love. True rest isn’t merely absence from work; it is a state of being that acknowledges God as the true source of our strength and identity.

Navigating Emotional Health in Relationships

Emotional health in relationships begins with honest communication about our needs and setting boundaries that protect our well-being. This kind of soul care goes beyond self-care; it’s about nurturing the deepest parts of ourselves that connect with God. Spouses supporting one another in these endeavors foster an environment where both can thrive. Encouraging each other’s spiritual growth and emotional well-being not only strengthens individual faith but also enriches the marital bond.

Dealing with Disappointment and Grief

Facing disappointment, sadness, and grief head-on is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships. These emotions, when left unaddressed, hinder our ability to connect deeply with others and with God. Bringing our hearts—scarred, weary, or restless—to God allows for a healing process that fosters genuine peace and restoration. This approach isn’t about avoiding pain but confronting it with the assurance that God is our steadfast companion through every trial.

Cultivating a Confessional Community

Building a confessional community where we are honest about our struggles, grief, and hopes provides a space for true connection and freedom. Such environments encourage repentance and confession, integral practices for a liberated and joyful spirit. When we strip away the layers of false peace—born from avoiding conflict or dishonesty—we uncover a peace rooted in vulnerability and truth. This honesty with ourselves, others, and God paves the way for deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Finding Security in Christ

Daily security in Christ demands continuous effort and focus. It’s not a one-time event but a continual journey of seeking His presence and guidance. As we surrender control, address our emotional health, and build honest communities, we find ourselves more anchored in His love. Teaching our children to name their feelings and understand the influence over their emotions rather than control can also nurture a household grounded in faith and emotional intelligence.

By recognizing the limits of our control and stepping into God’s boundless grace, we free ourselves from the impossible standards we set. This journey of letting go is not one of giving up but of giving over—to the One who holds all things together. Let us lean into this divine invitation and allow our hearts to be transformed by the freedom found in surrender.

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